I have to admit, this past few weeks have felt far more stressful than cleansing. I kept waiting for that awe moment. That moment of release when everything was done and I was on my way. That's not how it went. I had an amazing moment of calm and lightness when trudging through the fresh knee to waist deep powder on a Saturday morning hike. When I was sitting in my near empty apartment with my car loaded up with the last of my things I was just sad, overwhelmed and really disappointed in myself for not getting rid of enough. I probably should have established what 'ENOUGH' was before setting out. In the end I wondered why I had three totes for the kitchen and why I need any of it. There was little I could do about it at 10pm on the eve of my departure, short of throwing it all blindly into the dumpster (that conversation was had). Thankfully I have the most amazing friends who are able to talk me through my crazy when I'm just not getting there myself.
Now I sit in the Hong Kong portion of my milk run, unemployed people do not pay extra for their preferred route, yet another harsh realization from impulsively quitting your job. Don't get me wrong, I have zero regrets. I know I made the right choice for me, I suppose I still surprise myself with how impulsive I can be. So here I sit, enjoying a beer looking out as the sun goes down. The mountains so close, hiding their own treasures of fun to be had. The city not far away, looks a bit standard from the view I had and I'm almost expecting the entire place to open up like a football stadium. This is my very limited perspective of Hong Kong, as seen from the airport.
The weight is lifting. I'm looking forward to the sun. Rather than sit here dwelling on what I could have or should have done before I left, rather than thinking about how I could have been more efficient or how I could have anything at all that no longer matters now that the time has past. I'm just going to let it go. I'm going to take a deep breath and exhale all that isn't here and now and I am going to enjoy my next flight.. after all, I haven't been in Bangkok in years!
That is misleading, this stop will consist of a much needed shower, some sleep and an early morning connection to Perth.