Lani Johnson

A Giant Leap

Lani Johnson
A Giant Leap

  I had lost my work:life balance. I was exhausting myself trying to play as much as I worked. I wasn't feeling like I was spending my time the way I wanted. I told friends who would complain about work, to quit their jobs and follow their passion. I finally decided to take my own advice. 

  One evening I was FaceTiming with Glen, he was in Perth at the time, he said he had been thinking and it would be great if I could spend the summer there. I told him the project I was on wouldn't be over for some time and I could leave for a short time but for 3 or 4 months I would have to quit. I thought about it and to be honest I could not think of a single reason not to. Of course there was the 'but I won't have a job' (that I don't want to be at) and 'really what 37yr old woman quits her job just as she's reaching her career goals?' (again, I didn't want to be there and not a life goal). I asked myself over and over why not? and I simply had no reason not to and every reason to. The next day I told Glen I would come. It just felt right. 

  So I bought a flight to Perth, handed in my resignation and gave notice for my apartment. Now, 17 days before my flight, I'm sitting in my half packed, cluttered apartment amongst totes to keep and all that must go. I have just sold the last of my furniture to be picked up before I leave. I have some relief from that. This is proving to be a large emotional undertaking for me. I don't think I have a huge attachment to things, all this stuff just seems to stress me out, I do think I have an attachment to how hard I worked for some of these things and it's been hard to be ruthless in my purge. I find myself overwhelmed, tired and emotional. I'm sleeping later than is normal but maybe I'm just burned out from months of non stop, always on the go, getting up at 2-3am, working 84hrs a week mixed with travel, adventure and fun. Maybe there are just so many triggers as I go through all my things. The exhausting feeling that I haven't purged enough. I know I feel better when I have less around me, I've made cutting down my consumerism a goal over the last couple of years and I've done well at focusing on needs not wants. I am on my way to reaching my goal of minimalism. I'm looking forward to the lifted weight once I've emptied this apartment. My goal is to have my to do list done in one week. Just have to check one item off the list at a time. I've got this.  ...and then I leap.